Once upon a time there was a bearded scarf person called Egbert Jalamar. He lived in a blue room which he thought was nice, thank you very much. One day, a strange woman arrived at the room: her short brown hair was tied back in a yellow and black scarf. WHAT A SURPRISE! Thought Edgar, readjusting his beard, which had started to drop off. He never got visitors.
Egbert thought her scarf was rather spiffing, and asked her where she got such an item. 'Hogwarts!' She said. 'My school!' Egbert thought that was an odd name for a school, what things did they learn about there? He thought. Did they study warts on hogs? It sounded very different to the school Egbert had gone to, where all they had learned about was how to kill and tap dance at the same time.
He didn't feel very inclined to tap dance at that moment, nor did he feel threatened by the strange looking girl, so had no desire to kill her. Instead he gestured forwards with his crooked fingers, waving her inside. "Would you like some tea, my dear?" He asked kindly. "Or perhaps something a little stronger?"
"Firewhiskey?" she asked hopefully. 
Egbert pulled a face. What on earth, he wondered, was she talking about?
'No, dear,' he said 'you can't set fire to whisky, that causes a big hot thing to come out of it which we sane people like to call fire.' The girl looked him up and down, Egbert thought, rather like a predator.                                                                               'Where are you from?' she asked.                                                                                          
Egbert puffed out his chest. 'I? I am from somewhere great! Somewhere far too wonderful for people like you to know about.'                                                                    
'But wher-'                                                                                                                               
 'I WAS BORN IN A WORLD FILLED WITH ALL SORTS OF CREATURES AND MACHINES.'                                                                                                                                     'Wher-'                                                                                                                                    
'WE HAD MAGIC AND POWER AND TRANSPORTATION DEVICES MADE OUT OF THE HARDEST METAL.'                                                                                                                            'Yes, bu-'                                                                                                                                 
'I WAS BORN INTO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SPOT THAT HAS EVER BEEN KNOWN IN THE GALAXY!'                                                                                                                                'OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHERE?'                                                                                     
There was a pause, as Egbert looked suspiciously from side to side, before coming close to the girl's ear. 'Asda car park.' He whispered.
The girl almost choked on the tea she had poured. Spluttering, she said "Asda car park?"
The man puffed out his chest as he nodded, obviously proud of his heritage. 
"As in, the supermarket? Where they sell bread and cheese and... stuff. THAT Asda?" 
Egbert looked agast, his senses were beginning to tell him he had been wrong about this girl. The idea of her death was becoming more and more desirable. Infact, he could almost feel his hand reaching unconsciously for the pocket of his armoured jacket where he kept his sword. 
The girl stepped backwards, hand darting to a weapon of her own.
Just then, a small boy with jet black hair, bright green eyes and glasses sellotaped in the middle jumped between the two of them just at the right moment. 'DON'T YOU DARE!'                                                                                                                                 Egbert and the girl looked at each other, confused. 'Who are you?' They asked in unison.                                                                                                                                  'I AM HARR- err Neville Longbottom.'                                                                                             
'Hello Harrerneville, it's nice to meet you.' said Egbert, holding out his hand.
Harrerneville took the pro-offererd hand suspicously. And looked back at the girl, "you don't know me yet" he proclaimed, sighing deeply. "But with this time turner i will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try... to fix you."
The girl glared at him.
"I don't need your help, actually!" She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. 
Egbert stood with his hand still outstretched, completely baffled. 
Harrerneville shook his head once, before gripping hold of the girls arm. "Sorry," he sighed.
And then, like spinning on air, they were gone. 
Egbert was alone. 
He smiled. 

THE END

BY BECCA AND JAYNE.